Sunday, September 2, 2007
For all the World is a Stage
I have been wanting to blog for some time, but fear crept in paralyzing me from exposing my unfiltered thoughts and feelings. What if a client, colleague, family member, friend, ex-boyfriend, lover reads this? So, what am I hiding? What roles do I play with the different people in my life? Who made the rule that we have to show different faces and play different roles....because it's the professional thing to do, it's the social thing to do, it's the conscious thing to do, or just the nice thing to do. Cultural norms bullshit. Just concepts and illusions. Maybe even just my concept and illusion. What lies do I tell myself? Who am I hiding? I've come to learn the different voices in my head, and I fondly embrace the characters within me that are fighting and perhaps cooperating to express and reveal themselves to me and the outer world. No, I'm not crazy (well, maybe). We all have these characters. I have names for some, and others have yet to be revealed. So, is my intent to be purely raw in expression for whatever is true in this moment or stream of energy for the particular voice that is coming forward. And I am fully aware that my thoughts, feelings and energy can be different and even contradictory with each passing moment. Am I strengthening my authenticity or acting? For all the world is a stage. Who's performing now? I move forward with curiosity of what today will bring. What is today's illusion and who will I be today?
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10 comments:
Hey girl...quite provocative! Isn't it ironic that we create the chains that bind us to a particular way of being. I can't wait to see how you break out!
Who will you be next...
Congratulations on your courageous debut on this 'stage'.
Cool! It makes me curious and breathless for the next entry!
Great picture! You're ready to put anything on for your "roles"... ;)
Wow; what a debut! I love the picture and believe it or not, it shows a side of you I have felt the last few times I've been in your presence. I also applaud your courage in "exposing" yourself so authentically. I feel the invitation myself to express and share the real person behind the masks I wear. Before I can share fully I need to answer for myslef these questions; why the masks, what I am I hiding and what am I afraid of. So I will back after I have some answers.
Do we really ever know "the answer?" Are the answers and whys really important or are could they keep YOU or some of your sub personalities imprisoned longer?! Have fun and experiment :)
Ah yes, getting lurred by the need to know the answers. I have had the expereince before, during a dark night of the soul, of screaming out for the whys and not hearing an answer. Then I asked what should I do and my head was full of voices. So I learned that we always have choices no matter what the whys. I guess the questions actually become more masks. Now the opportunity is to choose either to continue wearing the masks or to peel them off. Peeling off the masks is a scary proposition, yet I now have the inspiration of this original post. If I were to face my fears, what mask would be first to come off? Perhaps it would be the one where I am always the nice guy; or maybe the one when I always have to do the right thing or never do anything "wrong". Yes, I can already sense the sensual passions that lie behind these masks. Passions that are a real part of me and yet I try to keep inside. This exploration is freeing and I sense a beginning to me expressing more of who I am on this world's stage.
Hey girl,
You did it! The first step is the hardest. Great questions around identity and the roles we play. They are all social constructions...but social constructions exert tremendous influence.
Keep shooting for escape velocity!
So as I continue to explore the depths of who I am, peeling of the social layers, all in an attempt to express "just me" I am feeling the sensation of totally emptying myself. It's like turning the cup upside down and shaking it until everything comes out and then wiping it clean. I feel like I need to let go of all the roles I play; even the basic ones like son, brother and husband. As I strip away all these roles I feel scared, and unsure. Yet I feel clear and unmolded...I feel pure potential. If it means stepping out onto thr world stage and not being recognized so be it. It is not time to be content with being recognized for the roles I have played. It is time for me to just be myself; whatever that looks like and however it is recieved.
Wow! Do tell more!
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